What Will Matter?

What Will Matter?

by Michael Josephson
used without permission of the author

--------------------

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from
or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought
but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success
but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned
but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence
but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Nail in the Fence

 
NAIL IN THE FENCE

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

 (Most importantly the last sentence)

 

There once was a little boy who had a bad
temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next

few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily

gradually dwindled down. He discovered

it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.

 

Finally the day came when the boy didn't
lose his temper at all. He told his father
about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally
able to tell his father that all the nails

were gone.
 
 
The father took his son by the
hand and led him to the fence He said, "You
have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be
the same. When you say things in anger,
they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm
sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal
wound is as bad as a physical one.

 

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They

make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise

and they always want to open their hearts to us."

 

It's National Friendship Week.
 
Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it
back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you,
then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

 

Now send this to every friend you have!!
...And to your family!
 
 
 
 
 

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.
 
 
 

--digitaltangent

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day! You have to love this Judge!

You must read this.....a proper decision by the courts...for a change.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter
and
Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case
against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The
argument
was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate
presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case
dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your
honor,
How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas,
Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet
my
client and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client,
counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance
or
holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm
14:1
states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the
opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then
he is
a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
You have to love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good NOT to forward!
--digitaltangent

Forgiveness

Edit: From Aaron Unthank's Blog ...Thanks Aaron!

Miscellanies...

This blog is about the random and miscellaneous things we encounter as
we go about living, working and playing. Topically diverse, contents
could range from baseball to religion... Raising children to music.
Mostly thoughtful, sometimes silly, hopefully enjoyable.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness. Why is such a concept so easily understood but so hard to
apply? We teach our children to forgive someone when they apologize.
"Please forgive me"…. "I forgive you" The call and response of
a conversation between company that has done wrong one to the other. The
meaning and nuance of such a simple exchange bears more power than
nearly any utterance upon the lips of person. The ability to forgive is
a gift to the one asking. A gracious gift that, when given, is a
risk…a chance. Those who offer forgiveness make themselves vulnerable
to suffer the same hurt again. They trust in the fundamental good
resident in a person. They gamble on the ability of the other to have
the character to receive forgiveness and do well by it. It takes courage
to forgive. Courage and faith…Courage to believe that a person is
capable of their best even when you may have suffered by them at their
worst and faith in the sincerity of their apology. And yet, this is not
the hardest part. Harder still is receiving forgiveness. This requires a
less popular skill…the ability to be humble and trust the character of
whom you ask forgiveness. At first, the concept of asking forgiveness
seems audacious. After having done wrong by a person you ask them to
forgive YOU…? Wait…If the hurt and pain is about anything it's not
about the one who caused it getting any reprieve! Yet, as the
realization hits that something is terribly wrong you offer yourself to
the person by asking their forgiveness. You are "bearing your neck"
to them. In ancient times to bear or expose the neck was to submit to
the mercy of one who held a sword in their hand with the authority to
strike or stay the fatal blow. Character revealed determines the
outcome. Those with a generous and compassionate constitution will not
strike but, instead, see value in a life. Those less generous…? Well,
I suppose that puts a literal context to the phrase "severing ties"
doesn't it?
Harder still ? There is one thing yet more difficult in the act of
forgiveness. It is giving and receiving it within oneself. To forgive
someone for a wrong is one thing, to receive forgiveness for doing wrong
is another, but for this exchange to occur inside of the same individual
is especially difficult. Allowing oneself the grace of forgiveness is a
not as easy as it sounds. One would think that, after all, if we alone
hold the power to forgive ourselves then why on earth wouldn't we? It
seems a "no brainer" if it is only up to us then it should be easy,
right? I suppose self-absorbed person who cares only for himself would
find some ease in forgiving himself. But, then again, the likelihood of
that person actually finding fault in himself is pretty slim. If there
is any compassion and care for others then, with the first inkling of
heartbreak or hurt we've inflicted, remorse and disgust flood into our
hearts like a tsunami completely drowning us in sorrow and blame. We
think we don't deserve to be forgiven and even if someone else does,
we could never allow it for ourselves. We tend to find some distorted
masochistic comfort in holding on to our guilt…Some deserved penance.
We are hard-pressed to find any worth at all in ourselves that would
condone our own forgiveness. While this could possibly be true based on
the nature of the offense, if it stops here the end is tragic. A wasted
life withered by regret, depression, and anxiety…Never able to move
forward. However, there is hope. There is One who counts us so valuable
that He extends the grace of forgiveness that covers any offense. When
we can't seem to forgive ourselves we have to look beyond ourselves.
That is the only way out. Someone has to lift us up out of the pit
we've created for ourselves and re-establish our worth. Then it is
possible to move on, heal and repair any brokenness we may have caused
and even residually suffered ourselves. Even though we may have
compromised or even ruined our reputation and character it can be
repaired. It is long, hard work. And when repaired, we must always keep
in mind that it was once broken because people might always keep their
eyes on the crack to see if the glue is still holding. While it might
cause a bit of uncomfortable self-consciousness, it is actually
beneficial. If a person is prone to a weakness isn't it a GOOD thing
to have some help watching out for it? Isn't it common for the most
unsightly thing to garner the most attention? Perhaps now, instead of
getting the negative attention the weakness had attracted before, there
is potential for the kind of attention that will allow this suture to
hold strong in the company of the strength that surrounds it. To become
strong again…even stronger than before. That is a gracious consequence
of forgiveness.

Posted by Aaron Unthank

at 8:38 PM

3 comments:

Valerie said...

Wow, Aaron. That was such a poignant reminder...one that I really
needed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your heart.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Katherine said...

Thanks Aaron, I loved it. This is a subject that most of us can relate
to, (both sides) either being the forgiven or the one with the grace to
do so.
Forgiveness is so easily understood, because it's is something when all
desire when WE need it. However, so difficult to apply due to it's
very definition.
"Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding
resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense,
difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or
restitution."
It's the "concluding" and "ceasing" most people have a
problem with. Most of us would agree that forgiveness is letting someone
off the hook for an offense, but do we really want to conclude and cease
with a demand for punishment? No…. I think we all want to be able to
find it and pick it up again if it becomes necessary to remind someone
of their offense, lest they forget.
The power of forgiveness then becomes the responsibility of both
parties. The one forgiving has to agree to cease a demand for
restitution, and the one receiving forgiveness must then agree to
restore trust. It's very humbling to ask and receive forgiveness from
someone. However, it is equally humbling to offer forgiveness to an
offender, because when someone has offended you, it puts you in a
superior position to the offender. To cease and conclude a demand for
punishment means you must humble yourself to a level of compassion and
agree to turn over the power to the offender, knowing you may be hurt
again.
Too many people offer what they think is 'forgiveness' and really
it's not forgiveness at all, but is a contract of slavery. The offender
is now enslaved to the forgiver. If the offender is not able to forgive
him/herself, they will allow themselves to sign a contract with the
person they have offended, saying…"I promise to beat myself up,
offer apologies and make restitution for my offense until, you have been
satisfied that the "non-demand for punishment" has been met. That is
not forgiveness at all, as it's very definition states that you
conclude even the resentment that goes along with being offended. This
is even worse when it is only a "perceived offense." I have found
out the hard way that this process only demands more energy from the
offended than the offender. It requires more of the offender than he/she
is capable of giving, and the cycle goes on. Keeping a person 'on the
hook' for an offense is neither humbling nor forgiving.
Allowing yourself the grace of forgiveness and then receiving it is
very difficult. Somehow, I think it is because we don't trust
ourselves not to offend again. No one has the promise that the next
temptation to offend someone we care about will pass us by. Therefore,
we keep our eyes on the crack on our own lives to make sure our own glue
will stick so we will not have to humble ourselves again, to ask for
forgiveness.
It's true! We don't deserve forgiveness! That's the best part about it.
Since we don't deserve it, when it is given, we know that the person
offering it, does so with grace, compassion and humility. Those who
can't or don't offer forgiveness are robbing their own heart of the
joy and freedom that come from moving forward and letting go of the
"contract". This gives the offender the joy and freedom that come
from restitution marked "paid in full". To receive forgiveness from
someone you have hurt, when you know it comes from a compassionate
heart, provides you the best glue or suture there is……and that is a
renewed relationship.
We must all give those we love the power to reveal our weaknesses with
humility, compassion and grace. This way we can hold on to that which is
most valuable; our character and our integrity, and hold onto what we
treasure most; our relationships with those we love. Only then can we
have true peace and find the ability to forgive ourselves.
Thanks for your writing. It gets me thinking. We can all grow by
other's words and experiences.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Aaron Unthank said...

Well said Kat. That was very...Concise. (Hehe) You made some very keen
observations and comments. Thank you.

Monday, February 15, 2010

--digitaltangent